Over the past six months, I've had this shift in perspective. Walking through something so painful and so seemingly impossible has made me extremely aware of the fact that every single person I encounter is dealing with pain to some degree. Maybe it's simply having to experience this great pain, or maybe it's the handful of people who have shown me such great empathy, but these are things that I have become almost constantly aware of lately and are becoming important parts of how I love people.
1.) Say what you see. This one is so simple but has been so huge for me. A genuine, heartfelt compliment can really go a long way, especially when someone is having a bad day. If you notice someone looking especially nice that day, tell them. Noticing things like that and keeping them to ourselves doesn't serve anyone. There is absolutely no sense in having a kind thought and letting it suffocate. Release it and let its magic surprise you! Draw attention to the good things. Sometimes acknowledging the seemingly small things is enough to draw attention away from the bad ones, if even for a little bit.
2.) Tell people when they're doing a good job. This seems like an obvious thing, but I really don't think we do it enough. I'm someone who tends to get stuck in my head a lot. Having my efforts acknowledged in a positive way, even if they're an expected part of the job I do every day, is huge for me. Being told, "good job" feels a little like being told, "hey, I see you," and being seen is one of the best feelings.
2.5.) Tell other people when someone is doing a good job. Manage people up!
3.) Acknowledge the hard things. It's okay to acknowledge that what someone's dealing with is hard. Personally, it's one of the very few things I never mind hearing, because it's always true. Hearing someone say something like, "I'm so sorry this is so hard" is unbelievably validating. When someone's doing something hard, acknowledge it and remind them how great they are for doing it. This type of validation should always be paralleled by encouragement.
4.) Say true things. This one isn't just about not lying. Be intentional about honoring what's true. Speak truth and speak life.
People are fragile, but we are also resilient. I'm finding strength I never dreamed I was capable of. I'm currently learning so much about who I am, what's important to me, and what I need, and I'm beginning to see how these things impact my relationships and interactions with other people. My heightened self-awareness is turning into a heightened awareness of the people around me.
We need each other. (Pass it on).
